May 14th

TRIKES 2030? PROGRESS?

By monty stone

ok, since some old 'talian guy, name of D'VINCI put out some DIY plans for a hang-glider ( old sepia videos show his 'test pilots' being hurled from the battlements to 'refine' his latest mods) (on youtube) ('those magnificent men') there have been some improvements, i.e. engines, airframes, materials etc. But, apart from 'leonardo d'mednick', with his use of fancy c.n.c. bits and other forward thinking design work, ( blatent arse-kissing here, i've offered to take away   FREE a scratched or dented REV ( I LOVE THOSE PHAT TIRES!) from his junk pile, preferably yellow.) there is still MUCH to be done! there ain't been the quantam leap that we are all holding our breath and waiting to see! for instance why aren't wing ribs (batterns) pumped up and down to change wing contour? (like my varicose veins). ON-BOARD AUTOMATIC WING FOLD/EXTEND DEVICES , LIKE BIRDS,  would be 'nice'. birds woulda gone extinct if  they had to remove their wings and store 'em in a bag between flights.  i expect even more 'odious regs' to be in force, some good some not. flying will never be as safe as 'bingo', for instance (though i did witness an old lady bash a guy with her 'marking' pen, 'cos he upset her board!) .' falling from the sky' will no longer be tolerated,  but with mandatory transponders, elt's,  REALLY BIG AIRBAGS, chutes or retro-rockets etc your significant other, and loan company can sleep easier! the chute, or rocket, will be hooked via satelite to a huge 'HAL' computor underground somewhere in UTAH, ( and thus safe from some 'rolly polly' arsehole from N/korea in case he tries to ruin our runways, as well as everything else!) and will deploy, from afar, if we decide to crash our, by then, 200k$ trike. saving both trike and 'tax paying', and thus FAA funding passengers. that's phase one, phase two the NTSB will arrive at your 'landing site', WITHIN MINUTES, with both    refreshments and'paperwork' to sign. i'm pretty sure that bolluminum will give way to composites, both in 'chariot and wing. whitewall tires? california and florida trikes only.  power ?, even though burning old fossils to turn that big fan will continue, with cat converters and any other ' gadgetry ' the ecology boys can come up with, to make it like you never burned ANYTHING, will make electric the 'norm', with the whole wing covered in solar cell fabric and 'super batteries range will be adequate.  the down side of the computer hook-up is an easy way for 'big bro' to enforce regs, if your bi-annual is due, the engine won't start, till you do it. the fun-factor of trikeing will still be there, but not like it was. by 2030 i'll be 95 + and probably won't need a REV! what am i missing, cigar lighter? collision-avoidance module? cruise control? reverseable prop, for backing into the hanger? frappoccino spigot? bum warmers? cupholders? etc ................................................................freazier ballzoff                         

 ps. my use of the term 'trike' is 'cos it's easier to type than 'FLEXIBLE WINGED AIRCRAFT' and is friendlier.

PPS. WITH 'ELECTRO-TRIKES, AND THE LATEST 7 BLADE' SCIMITAR' PROP, COATED WITH 'OWL FEATHER PAINT' THE MILITARY WILL BE USING THEM FOR 'CLANDESTINE' OPS ! BUT 'FLY-BYE' SHOOTINGS BY LUNATIC TRIKE-GANGS WILL BE ON THE INCREASE. THE PRICE OF 'PROGRESS', I SUPPOSE.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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May 9th

HA HA!

By monty stone

     WHATS A PIRATE WORTH?...............   A BUCCANEER !                                                                                                                                                                                                          (MY GRANDAUGHTER INSISTED I TELL EVERYONE HER JOKE)                                                                                                                                                                                            

May 3rd

roof landing

By monty stone

yep, even though there has been much verbage expounded, at length on site regarding starting an 'empty' trike without making sure it can't 'run away' it happened, yesterday. a trike, here at my home muni field, arlington washington.  channel 4 news showed an 'airplane' (quote) on top of a row of hangers. they said the pilot was injured, fortunately not badly, trying to stop it from taking off without him, but the 'plane' finished up on the roof. from the video it was obviously a n-numbered 2 seat 'naked' trike with a destroyed wing, etc. i'm not sure who the pilot is, but as stated he's not badly injured, though with that big fan spinning around he sure could have been. i personally never hit that magic 'go' button without me sitting in belted and aimed at open sky. you poor bastards that  don't have electric start and HAVE to start from outside make DAMN sure that front tire is up against the QUEEN MARY or something heavy enough to prevent a 'problem'. no doubt 'big brother' will be investigating this 'incident' with all that incurs, oh well, you can take a horse to water, but you can't make him water-ski  or whatever you wanted him to do.  if anyone plans on starting his empty trike with full throttle PLEASE have somebody video it , it's a great 'spectator sport'.                       freazier ballzoff.        ps. the reporter also said the hanger was not badly damaged! ( phew! that's a relief!) pps also they didn't mention the 'ulttralight' word! which woulda' pissed off the 'flex-wing' crowd!

May 2nd

KEN AND THE WEEDHOPPER

By monty stone

ken and i drove the 600mls to lake alvord in south east oregon, his ford 'exploder' dragging a huge trailer with my weedhopper tied on it. when we were about twenty miles away from the lake, mostly dry, i had a brain-phart, why not fly the rest of the way! so, we assembled the ultralight and i prepared to take-off. it was by now almost dark, no moon. no sweat, i had never flown at night but how much different can it be! i had installed a huge instrument panel with every  switch and dial i could find (i' was the kid that had playing cards twanging against his bike's spokes just to make noise!) also i had rigged a spotlight on top of the panel controlled by a 12volt flasher. the windshield was dusty and the prop was light colored wood. as soon as i took off from the dirt road i realized that having a mega million lumens reflected into my eyes every two seconds wasn't gonna work, so gropeing under the panel i started yanking wires till the light went out. phew! thats better. but not much, it was now really dark, out front was inpenetrable gloom. below was kens lights and a boiling dust cloud. i settled in about 100ft behind him just above the dust, doing ok till some power-lines whipped past a few feet below me. that got my attention!, i promptly backed off power and landed. ken stopped and came back demanded " what's up "? i said it's too dark, we'll have to park here till dawn. "bullshit" says ken, we've only got a few miles to go. "i'll take it". so he did. he made better time than me flying cross country rather than following the 'road'. he arrived over the lake long before me, i had planned on giving him my headlights to land by but was still a few miles away. fortunately a couple was camping out  on the dry lake and hearing the 'brang-dang' of the rotax realized that somewhere up there was a snowmobile or something that needed to land so they switched their van's lights on and ken 'set her down'. ken admitted to me that my decision  to land was a 'correct call'. he said that untill the couple lit up a bit of the lakebed he couldn't tell 'wet from dry'. we flew the 'piss' out of that weedhopper for three days , burnt twenty gallons of fuel, dropped an empty five gallon gas can with a home made parachute from 3k above the lakebed, all kinds of stupid stuff! ah! the good times!       freazier ballzoff    

 

 

 

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Apr 29th

NO 'EPH' ?

By monty stone

yep, the 'eph' on my notepad's keyboard is rephusing to phunction, phrequently. at phirst it was phairly inphrequently, but now it's very ophten. microthopht thuckth ! uh oh, now the 'eth' is going the same way! soon i'll be 'eth' less as well as 'eph' less, very phruthtrating!      phreazier ballzoph.                                                                       

Apr 27th

Profi TL vs Northwing Mustang for HKS 700e trike

By Rizwan Bukhari

Hi all,

 

Looks like the time has come for me to buy a quicker wing. I need your help and input. I fly a Northwing Navajo with HKS 700e wing. Everyone in my hangar flies Contour wings.

 

I am trying to decide between a Profi TL vs Northwing 15 Mustang. After talking to some of you I am leaning more towards Profi TL, but then I got this email straight from Aeros (the company that manufactures Profi TL wing), I had asked the dealer a question about the suitability of Profi TL wing with my carriage and engine and this is the response he got and I quote

 

""We have no our own experience with the HKS engine and without it it's hard to have an opinion. We feel that this engine is too weak for a Profi TL, especially at 2500 asl.

 
There was a customer in Finland who flew with a Profi TL and HKS, but he mostly flew alone and not at that altitude.
 
I hope this helps."
 
 
I have seen many videos of an 503 trikes flying Profi TLs and they say HKS is a tad more in power over 503, so my question to you is, would this combination work? My other choice is a Northwing Mustang 15 meter but Profi TL is my preference due to it's speed range.
 
Regards,
 
Rizzy
Apr 25th

'SHUT-UP AND STEER'.

By monty stone
  • way back in a previous century, ken and i were flying a beaver ul doing a freebie promotional photo-shoot of 'boris' and his 'bulldog' engine-out-front gyro. ken was 'taping' with this humoungous camcorder perched on his shoulder, they recorded directly to vhs cassettes, and were about the size of a fiat ( fellow geezers will remember them). i 'had the stick' out back and couldn't see much of where the sharp end was headed, so was attempting to mantain 'spatial orientation' by looking out the sides and trying to respond to kens terse instructions. "left" "right" "up" "down", etc. we had intercom but no radio, so had no idea what 'boris' would do next, and gyros are able to 'stop' in mid-air, together with the 'barge like' handling of the plane it was getting quite interesting! ken had one eye glued to the viewfinder, the other shut, and  as i was a fairly low-time airplane driver i began to realize my 'mortality was at risk here! then we hit some 'moderate' burbulance. i immediately whined to ken "hey ken, it's getting bumpy". he said " do you want me to take it ?". i said, "no, i just thought you should know". he said " then shut-up and steer". so i did. ken is now a captain for alaska airlines, i don't know what became of 'boris' and his 'bulldog' , but as i now just fly a 'driver only' trike i can't whine to anyone about 'bumps' and i just have to 'shut-up and steer'.  freazier ballzoff.                                                    

Apr 24th

To be or NOT to be a CFI

By Rizwan Bukhari

 

Hi all,

    I have a question for you and especially for existing CFIs. Lately, I have been thinking about possibly becoming a CFI.

    There are many motivations in my mind. The biggest one is that to my knowledge Boise and the surrouding areas here in Idaho do NOT have an active CFI. So it is hard for people to get trained unless if they go to Oregon or some other State. This will make it easier for anyone wanting to get an introductry flight or maybe training.

    We already have 5 trike pilots at my airport and hopefully that number will just keep on growing with time. So to have a CFI on hand might actually help. If NOT training, there is always possibilty of just Trike flights over Snake River and the surrounding beauty of Idaho.

    I am just curious to know from current or ex-CFIs about their experience, struggles and rewards. Do you feel that you can make a living being a CFI or is it just a labor of passion?

 

Thank you for any guidance and help.

 

Rizwan

rizzywizzy@yahoo.com

Mar 3rd

AGAIN

By monty stone

if you start bleeding from your ear-hole, check you haven't mixed your tooth-picks in with your Q-tips, again. if your toothpaste tastes 'funny', check that you haven't picked up your 'hemmeroid cream' by mistake, again. if your shirt has it's pocket on the inside, check the label, that also might be stitched on the 'wrong' side, again. if you are pressed for time don't walk up the 'down' side of an escalator, again...............................................freazier ballzoff

Feb 29th

FARKS AND SCHNACKLES

By monty stone

another pet peeve of mine is 'instruction' manuals. my 1961 suzuki came with a booklet 'hints and tips of how to ride the motorcycle', it contained such usefull info as 'beware of the mud-puddle for  there-in lurks the 'skid demon'. and 'if a horseman hoves  into view, toot melodiously upon the horn'. if he does not heed, shout 'hi' with loud voice. if he still does not heed, dismount and smoke a cigaret, until he passes.   my hirth engine manual reccomended considering running the engine for the first ten hours on the ground, also at a major service change the crankshaft and 'all other components', sound advice. my cosmos  wing manuals have all stressed the importance of securing the 'farks and schnackles', properly. and that 'no more than 8mins are required to assemble the wing. (it takes me that long to decide which bag zipper to pull on). are french mins like dog years, 7 to 1?    my northwing wing manual ignores how to fold the wing for transport and storage, though it did have nice glossy color pictures of kamron doing stuff in seconds that takes me most of the morning!   my $7 alarm clock came with a comprehensive manual, in 7 different languages,(including swahili, why would a swahilian wanna get up early?)with the first 9 pages warning of the legal and hazardous  consequences of licking the electrical components while plugged in, or during an electrical storm. i thought every one knew not to lick ANYTHING during an electrical storm!. well, almost anything!. my multi-$ new refrigerators manual   assures me that the light WILL turn off with the door closed!  how can i be sure! dammit, why,why, can't 'they' get it right!.... Freazier Ballsoff. (my new pseudonim)..................ps i can't die yet, theres still a few  people i haven't pissed off !